Encouragement or Discouragement
By Alan Bailey
At any one time we feel either encouraged or discouraged. As we get about the task of daily living we are probably not thinking much about it, but just the same, the feeling is there.
How does it happen?
Discouragement comes in many ways. Perhaps we have failed in an assignment of some sort. A hope has faded. A prayer seems to go unanswered ….
But the worst kind of discouragement is caused when another person or group of people either cut us off, or speak disparagingly of us. If it is a stranger down at the supermarket who didn’t like the way we parked the car, we can take that alright and forget about it. But if it is someone very close to us who bawls us out, that is a very different matter.
A discovery
For some husbands and wives, this may be a new discovery. The person in the world most able to give encouragement or discouragement is a spouse.
Think about it. A warmly encouraging attitude from a husband or wife when one struggles with a problem, or a step of growth or an achievement of some kind, is like a shaft of new strength. It makes the future brighter. Of course the encouraging words must be heartfelt, genuine — in no way off-handed or superficial.
Think of the other side. If a spouse conveys a sour spirit of disparagement or criticism, cold and cruel, the result can be devastating. This is especially so when two people are close. The rule is: The more significant the person is to you, the more powerful is his or her encouragement or discouragement.
What about it?
This realization should be a powerful influence on the way we married folk treat our partners. To think that we have the power to lift up or to let down, to strengthen or to weaken. Much could be said about the way this principle applies to the parent/child relationship. Children are hungry for genuine encouragement. Also, they learn to do it themselves by the example they see in their parents.
I believe that men should take the lead in this. Many Australian men lack encouragement in their lives. Perhaps they wonder why they don’t get it from their wives. Probably, it is because they don’t give any to her. The thing, whichever it is, breeds itself. Fail to encourage her and she will be in no place to encourage you. Encourage her and she will return it at the right time.
Look for the time
Set out to lift the spirits of your mate. Practice with the little things of life so that you can do it when the big ones come. What you give will come back to you. It’s a great way to live.
Alan and his wife Lorraine live in Adelaide, S.A.. Alan has authored a number of books including “Being a Bloke Down Under.” He is a regular writer in the Challenge Newspaper, as well as being a popular speaker and Bible teacher.
